Meme Post: That Time Kaz Met My Dad And Almost Blew Up His Car
I'm trying something out: Augmenting a post with my meme arsenal. I don't remember where I got most of the memes, but if I do, I'll say. Just assume that if it's funny, I didn't make it.
Easter Sunday, Kaz came up to Virginia to meet my dad for the first time. It took a turn for the interesting, and I wish I had taken pictures. I've learned my lesson.
Kaz wanted to buy some nice liquor for my dad on the way, but couldn't because none of stores were open yet. Tentatively, I snuck out before my dad woke up and hustled to the grocery store to buy some of my favorite alcoholic root beer.
I half expected there to be a prohibition on selling alcohol on Easter (shows you how much I know about buying alcohol,) but I made it back and gave it to Kaz to give to my dad. After greetings and giving him the root beer, we went to brunch at Tarrant's West, where there was an expensive as hell lovely and delicious Easter brunch.
I had pancakes, waffles, and french toast all at once. Basically, I achieved peak breakfast.
Kaz made a comment that had me reeling with laughter, and I still don't know why. He walked up to me with a waffle topped with whipped cream and strawberries and said, "I put whipped cream on my strawberries 'cause I'm cute."
Anyway, Kaz's car had been making some weird noises on the way up, so my dad and I took a look at it. Apparently, I was supposed to take the secret hint to stay inside and let them work and have a chat, but I returned at "lightning speed" (I changed my outfit and used the restroom) to help.
As it turned out, somehow, Kaz had run completely out of oil. Completely. So little oil on that dipstick that if a mouse drank it, it wouldn't feel anything but a weird taste in its mouth. At first, we thought we had done something wrong.
We drove in my car to Auto Zone and got him a whole gallon of oil, just in case his car was leaking. We returned and as we were filling him up, my dad realized one of Kaz's tires was halfway flat.
Fortunately he wasn't leaking oil, so we went to a nearby gas station to fill up his tire. When we arrived, Kaz told us that while his car sounded better, it still sounded weird. We popped the hood again and my dad noticed: Surprise! He was significantly low on coolant. His car had probably used it all trying to cool down his no-oil-having-a engine.
Unfortunately, the gas station didn't have coolant and the air machine quarter slot was jammed, so we went to the next one, his car limping behind mine.
Have y'all ever seen a gas station that sells weave? Because we did.
Tires filled, lubricated, and coolant replenished, his car finally stopped making dying sounds and was able to make it safely back on the road.
I called Kaz on the way home to see how things were going and he said his car was fine, but his cellphone was almost dead.
It hit me: He had been insisting throughout the process that his car was probably okay, that he'd get the oil checked out when he got home, that he'd find some coolant on the road, and anything else to prevent burdening my dad. This guy was about to be stuck with no oil, no coolant, a flat tire, or a combination of all three, on a dark highway with no cellphone service.
His car is fine now. I got an old milk crate, and put in it Fix A Flat, WD-40, and a set of jumper cables. With the rest of the oil and coolant, it makes a nice little emergency kit.
My dad's verdict on Kazzy: "So far, so good."
~Decchan
~ * ~
Easter Sunday, Kaz came up to Virginia to meet my dad for the first time. It took a turn for the interesting, and I wish I had taken pictures. I've learned my lesson.
Kaz wanted to buy some nice liquor for my dad on the way, but couldn't because none of stores were open yet. Tentatively, I snuck out before my dad woke up and hustled to the grocery store to buy some of my favorite alcoholic root beer.
 |
| Hard root beer? ...Beer? |
I had pancakes, waffles, and french toast all at once. Basically, I achieved peak breakfast.
 |
| Image credit: Buzzfeed |
Kaz made a comment that had me reeling with laughter, and I still don't know why. He walked up to me with a waffle topped with whipped cream and strawberries and said, "I put whipped cream on my strawberries 'cause I'm cute."
Anyway, Kaz's car had been making some weird noises on the way up, so my dad and I took a look at it. Apparently, I was supposed to take the secret hint to stay inside and let them work and have a chat, but I returned at "lightning speed" (I changed my outfit and used the restroom) to help.
As it turned out, somehow, Kaz had run completely out of oil. Completely. So little oil on that dipstick that if a mouse drank it, it wouldn't feel anything but a weird taste in its mouth. At first, we thought we had done something wrong.
We drove in my car to Auto Zone and got him a whole gallon of oil, just in case his car was leaking. We returned and as we were filling him up, my dad realized one of Kaz's tires was halfway flat.
Fortunately he wasn't leaking oil, so we went to a nearby gas station to fill up his tire. When we arrived, Kaz told us that while his car sounded better, it still sounded weird. We popped the hood again and my dad noticed: Surprise! He was significantly low on coolant. His car had probably used it all trying to cool down his no-oil-having-a engine.
Unfortunately, the gas station didn't have coolant and the air machine quarter slot was jammed, so we went to the next one, his car limping behind mine.
Have y'all ever seen a gas station that sells weave? Because we did.
Tires filled, lubricated, and coolant replenished, his car finally stopped making dying sounds and was able to make it safely back on the road.
I called Kaz on the way home to see how things were going and he said his car was fine, but his cellphone was almost dead.
It hit me: He had been insisting throughout the process that his car was probably okay, that he'd get the oil checked out when he got home, that he'd find some coolant on the road, and anything else to prevent burdening my dad. This guy was about to be stuck with no oil, no coolant, a flat tire, or a combination of all three, on a dark highway with no cellphone service.
His car is fine now. I got an old milk crate, and put in it Fix A Flat, WD-40, and a set of jumper cables. With the rest of the oil and coolant, it makes a nice little emergency kit.
My dad's verdict on Kazzy: "So far, so good."
~Decchan
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